Grandma’s House

I was talking to someone today, who was telling me that after some feelings of annoyance and frustration, he went and had sometime to himself. I then felt challenged to do the same. A few blogs back, I wrote about having reflection time and finding the place to do this in. I wanted my grandma’s house to use and to reflect in, but said that my parents didn’t want me to do this.

Well right now I am disobeying my parents, my not be good for the fifth commandment, of honouring my mother and father, but I definitely needed this. I am sitting in my grandma's house. I have just sat and read through a book called ‘The Heavenly Man’. It is about the persecution that China and especially Brother Yun went through with their faith. It is very uplifting and I have only a few chapters to go.

I lived in this house for two years in 1994 and 1995 with my Grandma. Her house is situated on the same property as my house. My parents bought the land behind her house and for the two years that we were living there built the house that I am now living in and have been living in for almost twelve years now. I was about six years old when living in this house, so when you are that young you are totally oblivious to the many trials and tribulations that are occurring in your family. I was in my own little world, not having any problems. Being able to sit in this house now I remember not having a care in the world, I had no stresses or issues. Coming to this house for me now, feels as if there are no worries in the world, it is so peaceful and quiet, away from the stress that lies in my house only thirty metres from here. There are days where I feel I need to retreat and this being so close is ideal, but having the parents not agreeing with me, it is not always able to come about.

As I sit here now and soak up the surroundings it is so bare. My grandma died in 2003, when I was in year 9 and there isn’t a day that goes by where I don’t think about her. Every morning, I open my curtains and look up at her house and reflect. She was a huge part of my life and someone so influential on the person I have become. It is really sad now to see this living room so bare and lifeless. I had planned on coming up here and sitting in her reading chair, but even that ahs gone, so I had to sit on one of the bad chairs, even though it is quite comfortable.

I am always drawn back to this place as it has such a huge influence on my life, being a place where I grew up and also, more importantly, the home of someone so special to me. It is a place that reminds me of happy, carefree days. It is definitely not the same with my grandma not present in it, but I have the many memories here.
My parents are planning on selling this house one day. I am very unhappy about that, as it will take away part of my childhood and also my heart. The next people to buy this house will most certainly knock it down as it is not worth keeping in the state that it is. The day I see this house fall down, will crush me. For now however I will enjoy every opportunity I get in this house, to absorb the family memories and the amazing lady, who lived here four years ago.

The feelings of peace within this house is making me forget and get away from the issues I know I face back down in my house and within the lives of my friends. For now I have a time away from that, this is something I am truly grateful for.

I will continue to question why my grandma died when she did and never forget the women that she was. She was amazing and someone who I loved very dearly. I can’t believe that it was just over four years ago when she lived in this house, where has the time gone.