On Saturday at lunchtime I was meant to be jumping on a flight to America. I was going to be flying half way across the globe to visit my cousins and aunite and uncle for a three week trip. Now more than ever, I really feel like leaving my life behind me in Melbourne and setting off to build a relationship with my cousins, who I haven't seen in four years.
I had got my cousins all excited, because I told them that I was definately going to be coming this time. I say this time because I wanted to pack up my life in year11 and fly over to see them. I had told them in year11 also that I was going to be coming, yet like this time, I have falied.
My cousins had planned road trips, it was going to be my auntie's birthday and I would have been in America for Independence Day, which they were also planning. They had set up a bed for me and were telling all their friends. Jessica the older of the two, is 17 years old and someone I love very dearly and I know she will be bitterly upset. She had planned to take me camping and on a road trip. Amy, who is 15 years old, continued to send me MySpace messages telling me how excited she was, questioning whether I had got my ticket, when was the actual date and wondered what I wanted to do while I was over here.
Last week, after putting it off for ages, I rang their house, to tell them the bad news. Luckily, my auntie answered the phone. As soon as she realised who it was, she said "Can you believe you will be here in 10days time, are you getting excited?" Well I just started crying, I couldn't contain it any longer, I said to her "I would be getting excited if I was actually coming." Well both of us went silent and I explained the whole situation to her. Mum and Dad won't give me a loan for going to America, which is fair enough, as it sends a bad message to the other three kids in the family, as they can easily start saying "well where is my loan?" Also Dad just doesn't want to hand it over without me working for it, which I completely understand.
Right now I just want to run, leave some issues behind and go spend some time with other family. My life isn't terrible, but I as I wrote about having some time to myself, I want for that time to be in America. I know there will be issues over there that I could possibly come in the middle of, however I will be with my cousins. These girls mean the world to me and I want to be able to spend time with them.
About Me
- Lauren Pinches
- I am a Deakin University Student in my third year of University, where I am studying to be a Primary School Teacher. I have wanted to be a teacher for a few years now and have a great passion for educating future generations.
2 comments:
I'm so sorry that you aren't able to get to America. I know what it's like to need time on your own, but maybe not in the same way, I am not sure.
Instead, I hope you can resolve any issues you have back here, in Australia, and that your life can be mroe bearable so that you don't fel like you need such a time away. But time away form everything is always good, even if you don't feel you need it.
Anyway, I think it's very mature and good that you can see the reasons that you're not going, and understand them, even if you are still sad that you can't go. If it had happened to me, my mind would warp it so that it was sombody;s fault that I couldn't go. This is bad.
Hey Loz,
I'm unsure what I want to write in this comment, so I'll just go with whatever comes into my head.
I've always admired how much you connect with family, and how much it factors into your life. I guess for me, it's not as much. I think for me there is not as much talking, and that might be why I never get excited about going to see most of my family.
There are many places you can run to, they don't have to be overseas. Plus, I think if that was part of the reason why you went to America, it wouldn't be as good for your relationship building, and those issues would follow you. They're not very escapable. If you went purely to be with your cousins, that's awesome, and would be fun.
I hope you'll get to see them soon. But until then, just enjoy the 'family' - immediate, extended, friends, etc. - that you have here.
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