I find myself up late once again on MSN with one Benjamin Chong. In thinking about the up late conversations, I was thinking about relationships in general and all the interesting twists and turns that they provide in our everyday lives. They also create much tension, frustration and plenty of gossip, which is bad.
The whole notion behind gossiping is bad. There are always going to be issues within groups, friendships and relationships, it is very hard to avoid it. However in my vast experience of friendships, relationships and group situations, gossiping makes everything worse. The rumours, the suspected interest of two people and feelings towards one another, everything, especially in the church environment, spreads like rapid fire. Every person that I have liked within the church, stupidly I have told people. This information continues to get past around the church, in peoples ears, for them to then pass onto the next person. I wish I could say I have learnt from that mistake, but I haven't, still to this day, I continue to discuss with people who I like. I have faith and trust in the people I have told things to that they will not pass it on. However putting such precious and potential awkward situations, in other peoples hands is frightening.
Continuing with gossip, what constitutes as gossip? How do we know if we are gossiping? I talk to people all the time about issues at the moment within our group at church, yet is that me gossiping or sorting through and discussing issues? I hate gossip, but what I would hate even more is if I was gossiping without even knowing it. So how are we ever going to avoid gossiping? When are people going to stop doing it? Probably never, because the sad fact is that people actually enjoy it and even live for it.
When hearing about other peoples issues, I often create them as my own problem, I internalize them and make them my own, thinking I can fix them and creating world peace, sometimes is just as likely. However in receiving a lot of these issues from people, it would be so easy to take all this information, where people have actually confided in me and gossip about them. Back in the day, I would have jumped at the oppotunity, yet now, I definately see the bad side effects that can occur. I know the problems that gossip creates and the tension it causes. However now, even today I was talking about some of the issues that people are having within my friendships, can I be called a gossiper?
You know what would solve all the problems...if people kept all their inner feelings, issues and problems to themselves, now is that healthy? Not for one second am I going to believe that actually keeping your feelings inside is a good thing. If you like someone, go tell them, if you have an issue with someone, it should be addressed or if you are having issues at home, you need to talk about them. Yet when talking about stuff, gossip starts to occur. Is there anyway out of the gossip trap? Personally I don't think so and you know what is the worst part about it, the fact that girls are the main culprits. It is widely known that girls do it all the time. We have sleepovers to chat about the newest person on our hot list or talk about all the issues in peoples lives. We compare stories, try and top one another with what we know and contiue to feed the level of knowledge, becoming more intrigued.
Gossiping is so wrong and I wish we could be people who listen to problems and issues, non-judgementally, confirm the person that they can confide in us and continually keep all the issues and problems of others within us.
Alright so what have we learnt:
Don't keep feelings inside, come out and say them
Talk through your issues
Be careful who you confide in
Be a person who is willing to listen, yet not spread and continually talk about others issues
Girls shouldn't have sleepovers
Main point: Gossip = Bad
I honestly didn't think this Blog would go like this. I was stuck for ideas and through many different starts of this blog, I created the materpiece of 'Gossip'.
Don't know if it is worth reading, but if you have got this far with reading it, I am sure you want your minutes of life back, which I cannot provide.
Enjoy xox
About Me
- Lauren Pinches
- I am a Deakin University Student in my third year of University, where I am studying to be a Primary School Teacher. I have wanted to be a teacher for a few years now and have a great passion for educating future generations.
3 comments:
Ah! So many issues! I don't knwo if I can comment on them all at once.
But about the whoel gossip thing. I belive there is gossip, and then there is simply telling people things. Gossip is all possibly not true, or stuff that you know is wrong, or stuff that could potentially hurt other people if they knew. That is gossip. I think simply telling people things, sometimes things that cannot be shared publicly, is not gossip, though. I think detrimental and bad "gossip" is not good, and can even be avoided to an extent, although not fully, whereas the other thing is not so bad.
And about girls not having sleepovers. That is ridiculous. Just ahve sleepovers where you don't do that bad gossiping. Instead, do other things, and play games like adventure quest, like I do on my sleepovers with other guys. If onl;y you girls knew about adventure quest.
There is much more for me to say here, but I have already taken up much room.
Also, I wasn't bored when I got to the end of this post, like you said the reader probably would be. No, instead, I liked, this post. Good one. Keep it up!
Finished comment.
Jono
ps. I loved how you finished this post. ("xox") Awesome. It ios the best way to finish anything.
-xox-
I agree that gossip is bad. (I know I mentioned gossip in a positive way earlier but I meant gossip as in just chatting about your own stuff.) I think gossip is bad when it's talking about other people behind their backs.
If someone tells you something, you should never ever spread it around... I struggle with this because I do like to talk about what's going on in my friends' lives and sometimes it's hard to know what's appropriate to say and what's not.
I don't see the problem in telling someone who you like, so long as you trust them and it doesn't become a possession thing.. (you know how when everyone knows one person likes another it almost seems to mean that no one else is allowed to like that person) and I agree it's ridiculous how quickly everyone finds out! especially in christian circles.
Gossip is bad but chatting is good.. It's so hard to know the difference! I have no good points to put here at all but I thought I'd have a bit of a rant.
Thanks heaps, Lauren! It was very interesting!
Love Kyla
p.s. I am going to stop saying gossip when I mean chatting. It leads to confusion. From now on when I say chatting I mean good and gossip I mean bad...
Well. You and I frequently face the position of holding things that would be so easy to tell others. The real challenge to us as decent people, let alone Christian people, is to honour the other person and the trust they placed in you.
Whether or not it could be deemed as appropriate to pass on, if they have said not to, or if it is understood that they wouldn't want you to, you should not pass it on. If someone asks you, or tries to get an answer out of you, you put them in their place and let them know it's wrong.
That said, if you hold a piece of information that the person said, "Don't tell anyone," but you believe it's going to be really harmful to them? Then, I think, you need to consider carefully who you tell and why, but do not keep it to yourself. For instance, if you had a manic depressant, I would struggle to let them hold it to themselves, even though, at the time, it is what they would want.
As much as we try to separate ourselves from it, gossip is very hard to escape. Being put in a position where people tell you things isn't as good as some people think it is. It's hard to keep all of it inside you. But it proves your worth for trust and honesty too, and that's far better than just getting to tell other people's stuff.
You've racked up quite the lengthy comment here Loz. Here is my final statement:
Things would be easier... if all girls were boys...
No. wait. that would be bad. No. Ha
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