Face Up

So many issues and so many opportunities to face up to them, yet are these opportunities ever taken?

So often lately I have found that when issues arise there are frequent opportunities for them to be resolved or at least discussed and processed, sometimes even just voiced. However more often than not these issues are left as issues and are not discussed or given the time needed for them. Issues within relationships are so delicate and I understand that it is very hard for them to be faced and discussed with the other person involved, however for a truly healthy relationship, issues need to be heard and faced up to.

There are so many negative consequences that occur when issues aren't faced up to. Some consequences that occur include the fact that issues are sometimes transformed into gossip. As I have written before, gossip is bad and something that many people live off, which is so sad. In a church setting the issues that occur can be passed so quickly around the church and can be even more damaging to relationships, especially if they get to the person they are about.
Other consequences which occur include the fact that issues are sometimes passed onto other people. Many people hold the many issues, to which people have trusted them with. It is often too heavy to bare the load of issues that are occurring between friends and can in turn be damaging to the person who has been trusted with the issues. These people often get involved without wanting to and it is so bad to put that burden on someone else and even make them feel apart of the issue occurring.
The obvious consequence is that for you. You are not facing up to your issue, something that is affecting you and creating you to be upset. The only person that can fix the problem is you and until you face up to the issue it is not going to fade away or be fixed, it is a burden that you are going to carry, until the day it is resolved, which could be never. I don't want to hear crap about people compressing it because from experience, you are going to crack and have an explosion. Literally a break down where you cannot cope with anything anymore and something little sets it off.

Now onto the positives in facing up to issues and discussing them with the people or person involved. There are so many wonderful occurrences when you face up to issues and of late I have had the privilege to be able to reap the many benefits.
When you face up to the problems and issues, you are given an opportunity to speak and discuss the issues with the person or people involved. Chances are that that person or people have issues with you and therefore you can wrestle with them together and maybe come to a resolution that all parties are happy with. In facing up to these issues, that weight that you felt with this issue lurching over you, is shed off and seriously when you have voiced the issue, a whole heap of burden is relieved. It is one of the best feelings to have an issue out in the open, not in the form of gossip, which sometimes makes you angrier, but through intentional discussion.
Another positive of facing up to issues is the calming effect that it creates within group situations. Issues normally put people and groups on the edge and within a friendship group this is the last thing anyone wants. With this issue out in the open, it is beneficial for all, especially if you have asked for advice from other people, confiding in other people with your issue.
I could seriously go on forever on how good it is to face up to issues and get them out in the open, but I will bore you and continue to repeat my sentiment of the fact that facing up to issues is beneficial and should be happening for people.

Too often we slide right past confrontation of issues and make other people think that everything is smooth sailing. However for everyone to be truly happy, I believe that confrontation is the key for a happy and successful relationship with anyone. Many of the confrontations I have had of late with friends and parents have been so beneficial for the relationship. This confrontation has made the relationship stronger and the level of trust has increased. I am a true believer in confrontation and I am continuing in confronting a lot of my issues, because so far I have felt a lot lighter and more free because I have voiced my issues.
It has made me so angry of late when people instead of going to the heart of the issue, skirt around it and sometimes tell everyone else or put it on the already burdened shoulders of others, and in turn aren't confronting their issues and endeavouring to resolve it.

Until you get out there and confront some of your issues, discussing and wrestling with them, you will never feel the utter pleasure of having weight baring issues shed away from your life. Do not make me angry anymore discuss your issues, cause confrontation and take the opportunity to confide in someone to talk through the issues in your life.

Grandma’s House

I was talking to someone today, who was telling me that after some feelings of annoyance and frustration, he went and had sometime to himself. I then felt challenged to do the same. A few blogs back, I wrote about having reflection time and finding the place to do this in. I wanted my grandma’s house to use and to reflect in, but said that my parents didn’t want me to do this.

Well right now I am disobeying my parents, my not be good for the fifth commandment, of honouring my mother and father, but I definitely needed this. I am sitting in my grandma's house. I have just sat and read through a book called ‘The Heavenly Man’. It is about the persecution that China and especially Brother Yun went through with their faith. It is very uplifting and I have only a few chapters to go.

I lived in this house for two years in 1994 and 1995 with my Grandma. Her house is situated on the same property as my house. My parents bought the land behind her house and for the two years that we were living there built the house that I am now living in and have been living in for almost twelve years now. I was about six years old when living in this house, so when you are that young you are totally oblivious to the many trials and tribulations that are occurring in your family. I was in my own little world, not having any problems. Being able to sit in this house now I remember not having a care in the world, I had no stresses or issues. Coming to this house for me now, feels as if there are no worries in the world, it is so peaceful and quiet, away from the stress that lies in my house only thirty metres from here. There are days where I feel I need to retreat and this being so close is ideal, but having the parents not agreeing with me, it is not always able to come about.

As I sit here now and soak up the surroundings it is so bare. My grandma died in 2003, when I was in year 9 and there isn’t a day that goes by where I don’t think about her. Every morning, I open my curtains and look up at her house and reflect. She was a huge part of my life and someone so influential on the person I have become. It is really sad now to see this living room so bare and lifeless. I had planned on coming up here and sitting in her reading chair, but even that ahs gone, so I had to sit on one of the bad chairs, even though it is quite comfortable.

I am always drawn back to this place as it has such a huge influence on my life, being a place where I grew up and also, more importantly, the home of someone so special to me. It is a place that reminds me of happy, carefree days. It is definitely not the same with my grandma not present in it, but I have the many memories here.
My parents are planning on selling this house one day. I am very unhappy about that, as it will take away part of my childhood and also my heart. The next people to buy this house will most certainly knock it down as it is not worth keeping in the state that it is. The day I see this house fall down, will crush me. For now however I will enjoy every opportunity I get in this house, to absorb the family memories and the amazing lady, who lived here four years ago.

The feelings of peace within this house is making me forget and get away from the issues I know I face back down in my house and within the lives of my friends. For now I have a time away from that, this is something I am truly grateful for.

I will continue to question why my grandma died when she did and never forget the women that she was. She was amazing and someone who I loved very dearly. I can’t believe that it was just over four years ago when she lived in this house, where has the time gone.

Love Again

For about a year now I have had a favourite song, 'I Will Learn To Love Again' and it is from my favourite movie, 'The Perfect Man'. The movie is beautiful and makes me walk away feeling happy and as if I can face anything, anything that life throws at me.
During the movie, this song is played where three women, a mum and her two daughters dance around their living room. They are genuienly happy and for once in their life, something is going right and everyone in the family finally agrees on something.

I thought I would post the lyrics of the song. The words illustrate that after hurt in your life, especially in relationships that you can learn to love again. I have gone through hurt in one of my relationships and I know I can love again. However right now I am so happy to cruise along, living life to the maximum, appreciating everyone in my family, enjoying the friendships I hold with people and taking each day as they come.

I am definately still not hurting from that relationship and am well and truly over it, so the inspiration for this being my favourite song has not come from lingering feelings. I have been reflecting recently on my feelings about moving on and wanting so much to learn to love again. When I was going through that hard time, I didn't think I could love anyone ever again. However the strength I continue to gain everyday is helping me and reassuring me that I can infact love again.

I don't know what it is about 'The Perfect Man' that puts me into a great mood and having a positive outlook on life. Maybe all of you out there reading this should sit down and watch this movie, to see if it has the same impact on you.

Well here are the lyrics, enjoy reading...

"I Will Learn To Love Again"
KACI

Drowning in tears that wont be me
I will soon be free from the chains of all this pain inside
And though I cry it wont be long till I regain the strength to know
I can go on
I will find my way through the heart break I will not give up on love
I believe

[Chorus]
I will learn to love again I will learn to trust
Once this heart can start to mend
I will learn to
Learn to love again

All of these tears time will dry them I will survive them
And make it through into another day all of this pain
Time will heal it there’ll be a time sometime I know
I won't feel it
I will live through life without you after the hurting is done
I believe

[Chorus]

I will find someone who deserves my touch after all the hurt is through
I will be so over you I will not give up on love
I believe yeah

[Chorus]

Oh yeah yeah oh oh love again